


Radio and the Dust

by King_Wooper



Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Bottom Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel), Fluff, M/M, Marina Lyrics, One Shot Collection, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Smut, Song Lyrics, Top Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), marina and the diamonds lyrics
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-19
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:09:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24608224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/King_Wooper/pseuds/King_Wooper
Summary: A collection of unrelated RadioDust one-shots, including the famous trio of fluff, angst, and smut. Each chapter is inspired by a song by Marina (and the diamonds).
Relationships: Alastor/Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 118





	1. Are You Satisfied?

**Author's Note:**

> Each chapter contains a hidden (or not so hidden) marina lyric. Bc I'm love her.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angel Dust is absolute hell to give therapy to. Charlie is having a hard time getting him to cooperate. It seems impossible to have a successful session with the spider, until Alastor decides to give it a whirl.

"Okay, Angel, let's go over this again."

"uuUUgGGgHHHHHHhhhH...."

Angel Dust gave an extremely overdramatic groan as he laid sprawled out on the sofa. Charlie sat in a chair positioned nearby, holding a notepad and a pen. She sighed.

"Angel, please try to have some enthusiasm for this. You want to improve yourself, right? So you can go to heaven?"

No, Angel just wanted a free place to stay. But he wouldn't tell her that.

"But this is BORING!"

"Well, it's necessary. With your reckless behavior on top of your mental health issues-"

"I don't have 'mEnTal HeALth iSsuEs.'" 

"-I think therapy is the best course of action."

"Can't I get a REAL therapist?"

"There aren't any places that offer therapy in hell."

Angel sat up. 

"Charlie. Dontcha think there's a reason for that?"

"Oh, come on, Angel. Just work with me here."

"Okay, okay, whatever."

Charlie flipped to a page in her notebook and spoke, "Drinking and doing drugs is...?"

"...bad for my health," Angel crossed his top set of arms and recited his part begrudgingly.

"And it's preventing you from...?"

"Getting into heaven."

"So in order to improve yourself, you have to...?"

"Stop drinking..."

"And?"

"Stop doing drugs..."

"Aaaand?"

Angel looked up at the demon princess in confusion.

"I thought that was it?"

"No, Angel, you also have to stop with your... you know, profession.

"What, stop bein' a sex worker?"

Charlie nodded.

"Bullshit! How am I supposed to make money??"

"You don't need money, Angel. We provide everything you need to live happily here!"

"But what about drugs?!?!?!"

Charlie sighed. He just wasn't getting it.

"Angel, you're going to stop taking drugs, remember?"

"UGH, this therapy FUCKING SUCKS!!!" the spider stood up from the sofa and stormed out of the room. Charlie called after him, but to no avail. 

On his way to the elevator, Angel bumped into the one and only radio demon, who was as cheery as ever.

"Why hello, Angel Dust! How are you on this fine afternoon?"

"Fuck off, smiles! I'm not in the mood."

Before Alastor could say anything in response, Angel was in the elevator, aggressively pressing the "close doors" button. 

Alastor shrugged off the strange encounter and walked into the foyer, where Charlie was seated rubbing her temples. She looked exhausted. He walked up to her.

"Charlie dear, what seems to be the matter? You look simply dreadful."

"It's this therapy I'm trying to do with Angel Dust. I'm not getting anywhere with him. He's so... what's the word?"

"Irritating? Frustrating? Idiotic? Annoying? Persistent? Senseless-"

"Thanks, Alastor, but I think the word I was looking for was 'resistant.'"

Alastor observed as Charlie looked through her notepad and sighed. It was mostly empty, aside from a few pages with some scribbled out notes. Suddenly, an idea struck him. 

"My dear, it sounds like you need a break."

"I do. I really do. But someone has to be Angel's therapist and Vaggie won't do it..."

"Why don't you let me try?"

Charlie blinked in confusion. "What makes you want to do that?"

"Angel Dust is not the only demon here capable of... persuasion."

Charlie could hear Vaggie screaming at her that this was a bad idea. "I don't know, Al. You just.. you don't really get along with him. Are you sure you can spend an hour alone with him?"

"You need not worry about that, dear. I promise I will be on my best behavior."

Charlie thought for a moment. She really needed a break. And I mean, how could it go wrong?

"Okay. You can try a session with him. And you might as well start right now. I only got about ten minutes in with him today, and they're supposed to be hour-long sessions."

"Thank you, dear. I'll fetch him immediately and we'll be done in no more than fifty."

"No problem. I hope you get further with him than I did."

Alastor grinned. This was going to be fun.

He made his way up to Angel's room and knocked on the door. A loud groan could be heard from inside the room. 

"Angel? It's Alastor. Be a dear and open this door for me, would you?"

The door swung open. Angel stood there, unamused.

"The fuck do you want?"

"Charlie has put me in charge of your counseling. I expect you in my room in five minutes. No later, or there will be consequences."

"Fuckin' WHAT"

Alastor said no more. He turned on his heel and walked away, humming a song from when he was alive.

Angel groaned and shut the door. What was this bullshit? Why was everyone trying to torture him with this therapy nonsense? 

The spider flopped down on his bed. Alastor said to be there in five minutes, or there would be "consequences." As much as Angel wanted to show up late to piss him off, he really wasn't in the mood to deal with whatever consequences Alastor had in mind.

However... an hour alone with the radio demon? Angel could take advantage of that. He's been making moves on the deer since he showed up at the hotel. This could be his chance to finally make some headway. 

With this new motivation in mind, Angel picked himself up off the bed and made his way over to Alastor's room. 

Alastor swung the door open almost immediately after Angel knocked, like he had been waiting there or something. 

"Angel Dust! I have to say I did not expect you to be on time."

"Wow, I'm a little offended, Al. What kinda demon do you think I am?"

"A good-for-nothing slut?"

Ouch.

"Angel dear, please come in and take a seat."

Angel took a step inside and noticed that there were two lounge chairs facing each other. He seated himself in the farthest one from the door. Alastor sat across from him. 

"I hope you don't mind if I turn on the radio. Music soothes the soul, after all."

"Yeah, whatever, smiles. Do what ya want."

Alastor grinned wider somehow. 

"Oh, I will be doing what I want, trust me."

Well that was creepy.

Alastor pressed a button on a rinky-dink radio that was on a nightstand he had positioned next to his chair. Some quiet jazzy music started playing.

"Now," the deer demon spoke, "let us begin, shall we?"

Angel shifted nervously in his seat. God, Alastor was so unnerving sometimes.

"Tell me, Angel Dust, why is Charlie so keen on giving you therapy? Why do you think that is?"

"Jesus, I don't fuckin' know. She thinks I have 'mental health issues' and 'reckless behavior.'"

"Go on."

"She wants me to stop doing drugs and drinking and- get this- she wants me to quit my job. Like what?! How is that supposed to make me happy?"

"You said she thinks you have mental health issues?"

"Yeah! She's fuckin' crazy! Like, okay, I had a few panic attacks recently but that doesn't mean I have anxiety or PTSD or whatever the hell she's getting at!"

"Panic attacks, hm?"

"Uh, y-yeah, only like four."

Alastor snapped his fingers. A dark silhouette appeared beside him. It was an exact replica of the radio demon - complete with holes in the dark space for eyes and a creepy smile. The absence of light was somehow holding a notepad similar to the one Charlie had. It started to jot down notes on Alastor's command.

"What the fuck is this Peter Pan type bullshit?!"

"You've never met my... assistant?"

Angel was sure he came up with "assistant" on the spot. 

"No! Why the fuck do you have a living shadow?!"

"You're so angry. Why don't you just relax, dear?"

"I have a right to be angry! I'm a fucking adult, I can decide what's best for me! I don't need therapy!"

"Angel-"

"It's my problem if drugs and sex are destroying my body. And it's my problem if I have no friends and feel I want to die!"

Just then, Angel felt a pair of hands on his shoulders. The shadow had made its way over to Angel's chair and had begun giving the spider a gentle massage.

"You seemed so tense, so I figured you'd appreciate it if I alleviated some of that discomfort."

The shadow nodded and made a sort of unnatural noise in agreement. 

Angel was too confused to say anything back. 

"Though you best not raise your voice with me again, Angel Dust. Or else you may not be happy with the consequences."

Again with the consequences thing. What did this guy have planned?

"I understand Charlie would like to see you drop some of your bad habits in order to improve your physical and mental health. As her business partner, it is my job to make sure that happens."

Angel tried to pay attention to what Alastor was saying. He really tried. But he couldn't help but be distracted by the shadow's wandering hands...

"So I need to convince you to drop those habits."

One of the shadow's hands was running through the pornstar's hair and the other was stroking his thigh. This felt like the beginning of a porno.

"I wonder," Alastor stood, "how I could convince you - no, persuade you - to do something for me?"

Okay this REALLY felt like a porno now.

Alastor's smile was sinister and eyes mischievous as he snapped his fingers once more. Holes opened up in the floor below them and thick black tendrils rose from them. The tentacle-like masses moved towards Angel and wrapped themselves around his limbs and waist, hoisting him up in the air. This sure was some kinky porno.

The spider attempted to struggle, but the tendrils were too tight; they rendered him essentially immobile. He honestly couldn't tell if he was going to get fucked or die. 

Alastor spoke, effectively answering his question, "If the only way to make you do something is through sexual acts, then that is what we will be doing. Prepare yourself, Angel Dust, for the most satisfying therapy session you will ever experience."

The demon took a moment to take his coat off and place it neatly on the nightstand. He waved his hand and the black masses restricting Angel's body tilted him downwards until his face was level with the deer's. Alastor held the pornstar's face in his hands and looked into his eyes.

"Starting now."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay new radiodust fic! Are y'all excited??? 
> 
> The lyric in this chapter was "and it's my problem if I have no friends and feel I want to die." 
> 
> Keep in mind that these are all one-shots so there won't be a consistent storyline. However, there may or may not be a part two to this chapter. Because I just had so much fun writing it uwu. 
> 
> Leave a comment if you enjoyed! :)


	2. Shampain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I can't even think of a summary that doesn't spoil it, so no summary for you. Just know there's a lot of angst.

Thie big day had finally come. Charlie was absolutely ecstatic; she was beaming the moment she woke up. Vaggie was excited as well. So was Niffty. Even Husk seemed a little more spirited. Alastor was... well, Alastor had left the hotel the night before to sleep at home, but he had seemed as chipper as usual before he left.

Angel Dust, on the other hand, was still in bed, refusing to face the world on this dreadful day. Every time he turned over on his left side, he saw the day marked on his calendar with a giant red frowny face. He had hoped for weeks that time would just stop one day so he would never have to endure that awful event.

But alas, it was time.

Today was Charlie and Alastor's fucking wedding.

This wouldn't be a problem for Angel if he hadn't fallen in love with the radio demon. But naturally, he pined for the one man he couldn't have. It was stupid, really. Angel usually wasn't into romantic relationships - sex was good enough, thank you very much - but one day he woke up and realized he was in love. Now if he had fallen in love with some rando he worked with at the studio, they would be dating in an instant. Angel could've had anyone he wanted, but not Alastor, because he was dating the daughter of the ruler of hell, who happened to also be Angel's friend. 

Angel couldn't remember when they started dating. He had lost track of all time since he heard the "good news." All he remembered was how it happened. Charlie sat everyone down one day and told them that she was in a relationship with Alastor. She made sure to say that this would not affect the hotel and blah blah blah... but Angel couldn't hear the rest over the sound of his heart shattering into a million pieces. 

So that's why Angel was still in bed at noon. Because he didn't want to witness the love of his life get married to his friend. This really was hell, wasn't it?

"Angel!!!!"

The door swung opened and an elated demon princess danced in.

"Angel, look!! Look at my dress!!!!"

Charlie did a little twirl and the white fabric of the dress, which looked like it had been pulled straight out of heaven itself, flew out around her. How the fuck did she get her hands on a beautiful white wedding dress in the middle of hell? Well, her dad was Lucifer. He probably bent some rules to make his little girl happy.

"Wow, you're serious about this whole 'white wedding' thing, aintcha?"

"I've dreamed about it my whole life, Angel, of course I'm serious. Now are you going to get up anytime soon?"

"Would you be mad if I slept through it?"

"Yes, I would be mad! I didn't invite many people and if you don't come then it's only Vaggie, Niffty, Husk, and my dad."

"Fine, fine. I'll be up soon."

"We're leaving at one, so be ready by then."

And with that, she left the room. Angel laid staring at the ceiling for a few minutes before dragging himself out of bed. He kicked his feet as he shuffled lazily to his closet to pick out something to wear. He settled on the white suit and pink tie he wore to formal events. He still kept the boots, though. They were his brand. 

He walked into the bathroom to do a basic hygiene routine and to put on makeup, but was stopped by his reflection. He looked sad, tired, and most unfortunately SOBER. He prayed there would be booze at this place. 

The spider finished getting ready just as Vaggie texted him saying it was time to leave. So he walked out of his room, went down the elevator, into the lobby, and paid no mind to the four demons waiting for him there as he walked straight out of the hotel and into the limo.

He wanted to get this shit over with.

Eventually the others piled into the limo and they started on their way to the venue. Angel was getting a lot of attention, being the only one without a smiling face. Well, except Husk, but Husk was never smiling, so no one paid him any mind. No one bothered to say anything about the spider's odd behavior, which created a lovely awkward silence that Angel tried to dissuade by ignoring everyone and looking at his phone. He wasn't even looking at social media or playing a game or anything like that; he was just scrolling through his contacts pretending to do the former. He lingered on Alastor's contact for a while. Yes, Alastor had a phone. He barely ever used it. He never called anybody unless it was an emergency... or if it was Angel. A little voice in the spider's head told him to call the deer, just one more time, before he lost him forever to the sealing bond of marriage. But he couldn't call him. Not only because Alastor probably wouldn't respond, but because a call from Angel meant something.

It meant sex.

You see, the two had a secret sexual history. It started not long after Alastor arrived at the hotel. He was away one day and Angel decided to call him, just for shits and giggles, just to see if he knew how to even answer his phone. To Angel's surprise, he actually answered. So Angel did what he normally does when talking to Alastor and he started flirting and offering his services to the demon. But Angel's face, when his offer was accepted, was priceless. He saw a new side of Alastor that day. A lustful side, a sex-driven side, and most shockingly, a caring side. That last attribute, caring. That's probably what spawned the romantic feelings in Angel.

Angel had expected Alastor to specify that the event was a one-time thing, but he never made such clarification. In fact, he implied the opposite. Angel will never forget what he said.

"I may not be accustomed to technology such as these newfangled hell phones, as they're called, but I will always return your calls, Angel dear."

So Angel called again. And again. They made it a sort of monthly thing; it was usually around the 8th when they met up and fucked until they passed out. It was their special little thing that Angel was to "not speak of to anyone ever." And when the pornstar realized he was in love, he thought maybe, just maybe, their relationship could develop into something real and true.

And then Charlie told everyone the "good news."

They haven't spoken since. 

Angel was brought back to the present when Niffty tapped on his shoulder to let him know that everyone else was exiting the limo.

The spider took a look at the building before him. The venue was a place that was meant to be rented out for parties or events or even weddings, just not white weddings. There were actually weddings in hell, they were just a lot more... sinful. But Charlie wanted a classic white wedding with a cake and a first dance. Lucifer was sure to make that happen for her. The only thing she couldn't get was a church and a priest, for obvious reasons. 

That was the other thing - why was Lucifer okay with his daughter dating and marrying a powerful hellion overlord? That would surely cause some territorial complications, and some power trouble on top of that. Well, rumor has it that Lucifer and Alastor made some negotiations behind closed doors and whatever outcome they settled on was good enough for Lucifer to allow the wedding to happen. Not just allow it, but also fund the whole thing. It was a little sketchy, but Charlie was convinced that everything was fine so no one else decided to worry. 

Angel entered the venue and was escorted by staff to the area where the ceremony would take place. Charlie and Vaggie were escorted to a different room, so Angel was left alone with Husk and Niffty, neither of which were great company for the spider. Luckily, a lovely little something caught on a table nearby caught his eye. 

"YES. BOOZE."

Angel made a bee-line for the champagne bottle, ignoring the glasses that were meant to be used to drink out of, popped off the top and started chugging. The staff didn't seem to care. 

So the spider plopped himself down in a seat and drank his booze for the next fifteen minutes. He was in a sort of haze as his thoughts wandered from this to that, until he was forced out of his trance as flower petals were thrown into his face. 

Huh. No one told him Niffty was the flower girl. 

Wait, if the flower girl was already here, then that meant-

Angel looked up. There he was. The man of his dreams, looking incredibly dapper in an all-black suit, standing at the "altar," about to get married to someone else. Alastor locked eyes with Angel, looked down at the champagne bottle in his hands, rolled his eyes, and looked away. Classic Angel Dust, right? The spider forced himself to look away from the radio demon. He busied himself with reading the label of the champagne bottle, which playfully read "Shampain" and underneath: "Made of an angel's tears and pain." That was very fitting for hell, and ultra fitting for how the spider, coincidentally named Angel, was feeling right now.

Just then, a staff member very rudely grabbed Angel by the arm and led him away to another room. He was just about to say something like "you're gonna have to pay" when he noticed a crying Charlie in the room. The staff member left the two alone.

"Woah... what's uh... what's up, princess?"

The demon princess attempted to compose herself to explain the situation.

"My dad's not here yet. He said he would be. He was gonna walk me down the aisle, you know..."

Angel stayed silent as Charlie continued.

"Vaggie can't do it because she's my maid of honor and she's already out there..."

She looked up at the spider.

"Angel? Will you do it?"

"Ya mean... walk you down the aisle?"

Charlie nodded. It seemed he really didn't have a choice.

"Sure, toots."

"Oh, thank you, Angel!!" Charlie threw herself onto the spider in a tight embrace. 

Fuck, this really was hell, wasn't it?

When it was time to walk down the aisle, Angel grabbed a hold of Charlie's arm and noticed instantly that she was shaking like mad. She must have been real nervous. 

"You okay, babe?"

"Yeah. A little nervous."

"There's nothing to worry about. It's just a wedding. You can always get a divorce."

That, apparently, was NOT the right thing to say. It earned Angel a hard glare from the demon princess.

Angel tried to not pay attention to the people staring as he walked Charlie up to the altar. Although he had to look at Alastor. He had to see his expression. 

Normally the groom would be displaying an array of emotions on his face, seeing his bride in the dress for the first time. But Alastor was not one for showing emotions. He kept that same deranged smile that was always plastered on his face. The only sign of any sort of emotion was his quirked eyebrow when he saw Angel there instead of Charlie's dad. 

When they made it to the altar, Angel plopped back down in his front-row seat, which was a poor choice on his part, and started drinking again. He thought maybe he would get blackout drunk and not have to witness the kiss and stuff, but to his dismay, an actually competent employee snagged the bottle from him and brought it back to the table. 

So he had to witness everything while only tipsy. Great. 

Angel watched as a "priest," which was really some demon with a satanic bible, walked up to the altar and unenthusiastically spouted some "dearly beloved" bullshit but with a satanic twist. Angel felt like he was going to be sick looking at how the two lovebirds looked at each other. The little glances and giggles... it was disgusting. 

After an excruciatingly long amount of time, Angel heard the words he had been dreading.

"You may now kiss the bride."

The spider made the terrible decision of looking at it. He immediately and involuntarily welled up with tears. Every fiber of his being was telling him to get out. So he stood up and booked it out of the building.

He walked to the limo that was still parked outside and climbed inside, just to be away from everybody. But to his surprise, the limo was not empty. Vaggie was there. 

"Hey," she greeted him without looking up from her phone.

"Hey... what are you doing here?"

"Just needed to be alone for a little bit. What about you?"

"Same. Is it okay if I'm in here with you?"

"Yeah."

A comfortable silence fell between the two. After a moment, Vaggie spoke.

"It's just hard to see Charlie up there with... with HIM."

"I guess you don't really approve of him, huh?"

"It's not just that. I mean, I've liked Charlie for... how long now?"

"Woah. Hold up. You like Charlie?"

"Oh, like it wasn't fucking obvious. It's fine, though, I can get over her. Well, I'd probably already be over her if they weren't so fucking ooey-gooey over each other."

Vaggie took a moment, as if she was thinking about all the ways they've made her jealous. Then the shook her head and said: "Straight people..."

Angel had to laugh.

"Alastor's not straight."

"How do you know?"

"We, uh... we have a history, you know."

Vaggie looked at him in disbelief. 

"Wait, what?"

"Yeah. We fucked, Vaggie."

"Are you kidding me?"

"Multiple times, actually."

"No, wait, hold the fucking phone. He willingly had sex with you?"

"Yeah, before he started dating Charlie. Why?"

"He told Charlie he was asexual."

Angel's eyes widened at this.

"What?"

"They were having a strictly romantic, no-sex relationship to respect Alastor's boundaries."

"No way."

"I can't believe he fucking lied to her. And for what reason? What the fuck is he trying to do?"

Angel felt like he was going to cry again. He's had enough wedding bullshit for today. He was leaving. 

"Hey, I'm gonna walk home."

"Are you sure? It's a long way back to the hotel."

"Then I'll go to the studio. Pretty sure it's nearby. Val told me to be there after the wedding anyway. Took one too many days off..."

"Alright. I'll tell Charlie you left early. Hopefully she won't be too pissed at either of us."

Angel said a quick "thanks, Vaggie" and exited the limo. 

The studio was farther away than he thought. It took him about an hour to get there. 

Now it was about 4:30 and Angel was chilling in his dressing room, once again staring at Alastor's contact in his phone.

He really shouldn't. The wedding reception was probably still going on. 

Maybe he could just call and give his apologies for leaving early. He honestly hadn't talked to Alastor in months. It would be nice to have a one-on-one conversation again. 

Against his better judgment, Angel tapped on the contact and pressed the "call" button.

It's not like he would even answer.

The phone rang for a while and then surprisingly, Alastor picked up. 

"Hello, Angel dear."

"Uh.. hey, Al. Just wanted to say sorry for leaving early. Val needed me. How's the reception?"

"Angel, I know you're not calling just for small talk. Don't you have something to... offer?"

"Al, we... we haven't done that in months."

"You called. You only ever call for one thing, my dear."

"Alastor, you're married. Why did you even pick up?"

"What have told you, darling?"

Angel shivered as he was called "darling." Alastor only ever called him that during calls or during sex. This was weird. This was wrong. But the implications of what the demon said next made Angel too happy to care:

"I will always return your calls."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I put a shit ton of effort into this chapter so I hope you all like it. Leave a comment if you did; I love reading the comments.
> 
> The lyric in this chapter was "made of an angel's tears and pain."
> 
> Oh and sorry for the wait... it was my birthday recently so I didn't feel like writing for a while. I also got animal crossing so that's been taking up all of my time. Anyway, hope you enjoyed this angsty mess of a one-shot!


End file.
